Ready to meet new people? Here’s some brave, bold and doable strategies to apply when you find yourself with an opportunity for a chance encounter with someone new while on your lunch break (or any other time).
Remember: If you want to get something new you often need to DO something new. Here’s HOW to make the most of any chance encounter:
Look and smell your best:
Before you get out of the car, freshen up. Fix your hair, put on some lipstick or at least lip gloss. Bold or shiny lips attract men’s attention in a major way. Don’t ask me why.
Spritz on some perfume or fruity body spray. Don’t overdo. Experiencing your scent should be a reward for coming close to you. If you over-apply, broadcasting your smell all over the room, you’ve defeated the purpose of wearing it.
Go when they go:
The best time to dine is between 11am to 1pm. Stay as long as you can. Bring your laptop or remote work so you can hang out as long as possible during the lunch rush.
Go alone: My male clients unanimously say they find it difficult to approach a woman if she’s with a group or even one other gal. Traveling in a pack is not your friend if you’re trying to strike up a conversation with someone new. It’s always best to go alone. Take a deep breath and be brave.
Five seconds of courage:
You don’t have to approach someone feeling ready to carry on a long conversation. All you need is five seconds worth of courage. That translates into being ready to utter a few words and then waiting for them to respond. If you can come up with one comment to say, you’re ready.
Compliment, Relate, Question.
If you give them a compliment, they’ll notice you’re there.
If you relate to something they do/say/are they’ll give you a closer look.
If you follow that up with a question, you’ll get them talking and create an opportunity for a real connection.
CQR might sound like this:
Scene: Two people refiling drinks at the beverage station.
You: Pepsi person, huh? Me too. (Relate)
Guy: Oh…ya. Gotta love it.
You: I always admire people who use the road less traveled. (Compliment)
Have you tried Pepsi Max? It’s tasty. (Question)
Guy: I haven’t yet, does it taste different?….Maybe we could meet at Sodalicious after work and give it a try together?
See how easy that worked out for you! Congratulations. Not every encounter will turn out like this, but some will.
Draw some attention:
Found someone interesting, but don’t know how to get his attention? Here’s the oldest trick in the book:
Walk by him at a table (or while he’s standing),“accidentally” DROP your fork or keys, phone, purse, lunch, yo-yo, Pez dispenser, fidget spinner, whatever you have.
He’ll notice the commotion and look like he’s going to help you pick up your item.
ALLOW HIM TO DO THIS FOR YOU.
When he hands your item to you, thank him graciously. Compliment him for being a “good guy”. Tell him your name.
In real life, it might go like this:
Scene: A man is at a table having lunch. You’re walking by his table on your way to your table.
You: (drop your fork and knife on the ground near his feet)
(Not looking in a rush to pick up your fallen cutlery)
Guy: Oh…let me get that for you. (You: stand by in feminine stance).
You: Thank you so much, you’re a great guy. I’m Karen by the way. Thanks again.
Guy: No problem, Karen…
You: (Give him a big smile and a wink as you walk to a not far away table that faces him.)
If he’s available (for building a new relationship possibility) he’ll likely look up at you several times and approach you before he leaves to talk to you again. If he’s not available, nothing will happen, but you’ll feel brave and proud of yourself for taking the chance to get his attention.
Get a Calling Card:
This is a very helpful asset if you’re trying to get to know new people. Many people already have a business card, but most women DON’T have a cute card with their photo and the right kind of contact info.
Your cute card should have: a flattering photo (preferably a professional shot) and the right contact info: Include your First Name, Phone or Google Voice number, Email (that doesn’t reveal your last name), Instagram Handle, a cute catch phrase that describes you, etc. Don’t include your work title or other specific logistical information.
There’s oodles of online printers that can help you create a card like this or anyone with basic photoshop skills could easily create this.
Having a card allows you to quickly hand off your contact info and walk away from a chance encounter leaving them wanting more and a way to get in touch with you. You can say something like: You’re cute (nice, interesting, clever etc.), I wouldn’t mind hearing from you.
Then, place the card and walk away. It’s mysterious. It’s intriguing. It’s bold. It works.
You can also give this card to your friends and family if they want to set you up. It’s a great and easy way for them to connect you to people in their network that you don’t know yet.