Video Chats: Making a good first impression
I predict a boom of weddings for over 30 singles early in 2021. And video chats will be part of the love stories.
The boom has already started…If you haven’t noticed there’s a zillion new users on the dating sites.
The quarantine and it’s “YOU CAN NOT MEET NEW PEOPLE” has only motivated people to try! Forbidden fruit is so much sweeter.
Record numbers of new users are already showing up to date online in a way no one has EVER seen!
But there’s a catch to all this new motivation…
Meeting up with new people, while complying with a quarantine, means FaceTime and video chats. *audible grown*
I don’t know about you, but in the last several weeks, I’ve had 10X the video chats of my pre-Covid life.
An observation: Most people look worse on a video chat than they do in real life.
This made me think…
Are we, daters, showing up to our “quarantine FaceTime dates” in dimly lit rooms? Are we holding our devices at unflattering angles? Are we putting less effort into our appearance since were at home instead of out in person?
Being guilty of even one of these fopas could mean your first chat will be your last. I wish first impressions weren’t so crucial…But they are.
The Rule of First Impressions
You have 7 seconds to make a good impression on each other. Whether in-person or via technology, if one of you fails to impress, it’s probably over. I don’t make the rules, I just live by them.
There will be snap judgments and assumptions made. Like it or don’t, we ALL make these snap judgments. Even if you think YOU don’t. You do. But…here’s how you can stay on the side of making a positive first impressions..
A little effort goes a long way
Putting a little preparation into hosting your video chats/FaceTime makes you look more put together than others your date might be meeting.
When you show up with “the bomb lighting” (thanks Lizzo), at flattering angles, with pretty hair, nice clothes and some lipstick, you easily outshine most of your competition. You make a KILLER first impression. You win!
There’s no doubt that taking the time to make these positive impressions will lead to exciting new relationships and eventually post-quarantine weddings.
Here are some things for you to consider before your next video chat:
Plan Your Angles
You’ve been a part of chats where someone is hold a device or has a laptop sitting well below their face. This is when a double chin, nose hairs and unflattering neck shots are the star of the show.
If you don’t want this, host a practice meeting. Notice how you show up on screen. Build up a little platform to hold your computer at just the right level for you.
What is the right level? For me, I feel like I look best when the webcam is level with my eyes.
Here’s the view from my screen. The camera level with my eyes. The laptop sitting on top of a box to get it at the correct level for me.
If you’re using a desk top monitor, you can also achieve the ultimate angle by adjusting the height of your chair.
When you’re satisfied with the angle, take a picture of how you created this so you can remember and set up your webcam quickly when it really becomes show time.
The Bomb Lighting
Lizzo wouldn’t reference “bomb lighting” in her breakout hit song Truth Hurts if it wasn’t of critical importance for making the right impression.
Notice I have my shutters completely open and my door open to maximize the light shining directly at me. Also, I’ve positioned myself near the end of the desk, because it has better lighting than if I scoot closer to the cabinets. Little things make big changes.
Here’s the difference between good lighting and okay lighting. It’s basically life or death. See below… this is what happens when I don’t use my platform and don’t sit in the most well lit location.
See the weird shadows on my face? I’m killing my first impression! Notice the way less flattering angle? This is what I look like if I just set the laptop on the desk with no platform.
Here’s a better angle and in good lighting. I look like a really improved version of the person from the above photo. Angles matter, lighting matters.
What you want is a diffused light source facing right toward your face. Glowy light. Natural light is always preferable, and the cheapest option.
But…when natural light isn’t possible, the next best things is a light ring. I’m not an amazon affiliate, so I won’t tell you which to buy, but I can say they range in price from $12 for a clip on light ring for your phone, to $20 for a small ring with a tri-pod to $50 for a vlogger quality light ring.
I say pick the best light you can afford. Know that the better the light, the better impression you will make.
It’s also possible to create your own with a lamp and a white cloth over the lamp to diffuse the hot light from hitting your face harshly.
Again, create a practice meeting to play around with your light source. Do one in the day and one at night, so you can test the light in both circumstances. Do this and you’ll make a killer impression every time.
Sound Like an Angel
You’ve been on video chats where the person speaking is too far from their mic, or their mic just doesn’t work well. Despite the fact that they’re talking as loud as they reasonably can, you have to struggle to understand every word they’re saying. It’s so frustrating!
You do not want this to happen while trying to make a good impression and demonstrate how easy and fun it is to connect with you. You want things to be easy breezy.
Here’s a few tips to improve your sound:
Separate your video and audio: Most phones have good mics, but laptops/desktops vary widely on how well it picks up your voice and background noise. If you’re using a computer to chat, join the audio by phone to take advantage of better mic capabilities.
Use headphones: Even better, use subtle looking headphones like a wireless set. This will further improve your sound quality. The headphone caution is to avoid clunky, big headphones that will crush your hair and/or impair the way you look.
Clear sound quality will encourage future chats and meet ups. Garbled sound will frustrate both parties and encourage and end to this developing opportunity.
Set the stage
When you pop your phone or laptop to shoot whatever is behind you without thought for how it looks on camera, chances are your conversation partner will be distracted by whatever is happening in your background, instead of focusing on you and the good conversation.
You’re not looking at the garbage and clutter crammed on the case behind me are you? Of course you are. Take time to clear your back ground! Don’t give the impression you’re a hoarder if you’re just a little cluttery in certain places.
You’re letting whomever you’re chatting with have a peek inside your life. Take time to declutter, and set the stage to make a good impression. Bring in some items that represent your or your tastes in living or decor.
Notice the big difference in this photo? I look like I have my life together and I am excited to chat with whomever is on this call with me.